The J-Curve of Migration: Why Is the First Year Abroad So Hard?

Most people struggle the first time they move abroad. The first year is always hard. That's just one of the stages migration is supposed to have, it's completely natural. But unfortunately, for some people this weighs heavily, and a certain thought creeps in: "We came to Germany, but did we do the right thing? Would it have been better if we'd never gotten into any of this?" A lot of people feel this way, so today I want to talk a bit about that.

What is the J-curve?

Back in Turkey, you had a certain comfort zone. Maybe it wasn't financially brilliant, but from a distance, your life was stable: your routine, your home, your language, your surroundings, all of it was familiar. Then you migrate to Germany, and that comfort zone, those standards, suddenly bottom out. Because everything changed: your routine changed, your home changed, your surroundings changed, and now you're in a country where your native language isn't even spoken. You're starting from zero. Your everyday life got significantly harder, and you have to rediscover most things.

This is called the "J-curve." First a sharp drop, then a slow climb back up. It doesn't happen at the same pace for everyone, of course. The first year is usually the hardest. It might take two years, it might take three; it varies from person to person, from migration to migration. As you build your life here over time, that curve starts accelerating upward, but it's a process, it doesn't fix itself overnight.

For some it takes a year, for others two; it depends entirely on your circumstances. As this process drags on, your motivation naturally drops too. That's why there's that saying about sticking to the plan; you need to stay committed to the migration process as well. Once you get past a year or two, this worry usually disappears; you regain your old comfort level, and often you even get the chance to surpass it.

Why is it so exhausting?

Here's the crux of it: in a new life, you end up having to do everything at the same time. On one hand you have to find a home, on the other you have to find a job, and on top of that you have to improve your language. And while all of this is happening, the world doesn't stand still either. For example, I work in media, and technology keeps advancing every day; new things keep getting added around AI, and I have to keep myself up to date too. Trying to build a life from scratch while trying to organize all these processes at once genuinely exhausts a person, and sometimes you just can't keep up.

When you can't keep up, you also end up being a bit unfair to yourself: you start thinking "I just can't manage this, it's not working, it's too hard." But in reality the process really is hard, and it looks worse than it actually is; yet this is exactly what's supposed to happen, it's one of the stages of migration. The most important thing to know during this process is this: you don't have to do everything at the same time, at the same pace. Learning the language is a good example. Your German won't hit C1 level the next day, it's a process, for some it takes a year, for others longer.

One more thing worth remembering: here, there's no circle of people who already knew you, who could have your back; you have to handle everything on your own, taking care of yourself completely by yourself. That adds to the load. Someone who comes on the Opportunity Card, a job-search visa, or a student visa will generally move a bit slower than someone who comes with family or a more established footing; building their life may take them longer than others.

So would you recommend it?

Normally, Germany is a beautiful place, I think it's worth living here; that's exactly why I'm here. But when people ask "would you recommend it," I can't wholeheartedly say yes with my eyes closed. The reason isn't Germany, it's the difficulty of building a new life. Not everyone can get through this process with the same ease. Building a life from scratch genuinely isn't easy, and this isn't even specific to Germany: even if you moved to a different city in Turkey today, somewhere you don't know anyone, where you have no relatives, you'd face similar difficulties. You struggle at first, then gradually adapt to your surroundings and regain your own potential. But it's a process, and you need to be aware of that. Migrating blindly doesn't make sense; but if you set out being aware of these difficulties, with a realistic outlook, I think it's at least worth a try. Instead of staying put and wondering "what if," give it a try; if it doesn't work out, you always have the option to go back.

Ferdi Şen